Until today I would have argued that very rarely is it a good working practice to come up with a single line, or title, and figure out what the article is about from there. But that's before I was struck by "A Question of Snood". On the few occasions you get a flash of genius (I also entertained thoughts of "You Snood, You Lose" and "To Bobble or Not to Bobble" – basically, I was on inspired form), you simply have to go with it. So my column this month is all about accessorising for winter. With a snood, say.
The snood is a bit fiddly. No doubt about it. Even the name – snood – is off-putting. It feels like a dirty word. My mum used to wear one, and it was a running joke that if my dad or I slipped it on, we'd look like wallies. I was about eight, so wallies was a term that got bandied about quite freely. In contrast to its wearer-friendly cousin the scarf, you have to consider the "fit" of a snood. Too tight and you might as well be wearing a rollneck. Too loose and too low and you'll smack of someone who works in All Saints.
Given the inherent risks, I wouldn't recommend spending much – get a cheap one, keep the receipt, and then see how it goes down with your friends and loved ones (clue: if everyone you know says, "What the hell are you wearing, ladyboy?", the snood isn't for you). If you find a good one, and pull it off, you'll be the envy of all. Well, me.
The thing about winter accessories is that you can and should have a bit of fun. They can really jazz up a dull ensemble. I often find myself traipsing around in dark jeans and a navy peacoat, so the gloves and the hat and the scarf give the opportunity to inject some life and colour. I wouldn't go all matching, though. Ideally just one of the items should stand out. And my Scarf Rules are quite strict. Everyone has Scarf Rules, yes? No college scarves. No fringed scarves. No overly patterned scarves.
You'll also be delighted to hear that I have a theory about gloves. It used to be enough for a glove to keep your hand warm, but not any more. They haven't moved with the times. What I mean by that is that we now collectively spend a huge amount of time tapping away on our phones, and we want to do that outside in the cold, too. But gloves won't allow it. Gloves make everyone into a cack-handed klutz. So I insist on wearing "Fagins". Don't listen to the doubters who say that they make you look like you should be huddled around a brazier under a bridge. They're wrong. ■
Email Rick at rick.edwards@observer.co.uk or visit theguardian.com/profile/rick-edwards for all his articles in one place